You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
