he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
