party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
