It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
