But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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