I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize