they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
