so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize