just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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