yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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