drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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