Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
be right there i have to get my cape
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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