I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dignity is for republicans.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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