She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
