Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
