So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
