Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Life is so much better after having sex.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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