i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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