I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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