The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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