I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
