Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
