yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
