Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sext me about skeletons
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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