Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
