Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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