How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
