Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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