Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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