you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize