every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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