he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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