im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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