so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize