let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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