alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize