Me. At least after what I've been through.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
