Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
