Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
