I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
