dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
