honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
