Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
