i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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