i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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