Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize