If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
