Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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