i don't like sucking hair
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize