my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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