peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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