just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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