just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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