Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
