Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He did a backflip because drugs
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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