The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
