Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Randomize
