I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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