my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize